I have been walking with the Lord for quite a while now. I love God with all my heart. He is the center of my life. Apart from Him, I Ann Charles am NOTHING. Not too long ago, I moved to the Panama for a short term internship. It was there, in the foreign land that God taught me that He is all sufficient. I am going to be honest, I did not learn that in one day. It took days of fasting and praying while beseeching the face of God to understand.
When I moved to Panama, everything was almost perfect. I had just started a new job. I was dating a wonderful man. I was studying for the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) to go to graduate schools. Church was great. I enjoyed the fellowship with believers. Around November, I expressed my desire of visiting my parents to go to Haiti. And this brother offered me free plane ticket to go to Haiti. In other words, life was just perfect. It did not stay like that for long.
I used to attend this small group every week. And Saturday December 3rd, a sister in Christ shared this verse with me: "Be still and know I am God_Psalms 46:10". I claimed that verse as mine thinking that God sent it me to tell me that I will get into graduate schools or something. But that was not the case. It was God warning me for what was about to come.I had made a mistake at work. And my supervisor was very upset. She sent me a long letter about how she was disappointed of my work. It was a harsh email. As I was just dealing with that, literally minutes after receiving the email from her, my boyfriend at the time called me and told me he wanted to end the relationship. Minutes after, the gentlemen who offered me the free ticket to Haiti called me. As we were talking, I realized that I won't be able to accept his offer. In less than thirty minutes, my life became a living hell.
As I was searching for God's comfort through my pain, I started to have dreams that a believer should not having. I shall spare you of the details. In summary, I was being attacked by the devil in my dreams. I could not sleep at all. Then I remembered Ephesians 6: 10-18. So, I started to fight the devil with the only weapons that I had which is the Word of God. I spent lots of time in prayers and fasting.The Almighty gave me victory over that matter. He gave me power to crush the devil's head. Around Christmas time, I received my first rejection letter from graduate school. Then, I was overwhelmed with sad and loneliness because I could not go to Haiti. I recall crying in church just by seeing a family seating together at church. By January, I received the rest of my rejection letters. I was crushed, broken and defeated.
Words cannot fully describe my disappointment. I was very discouraged. I started to wonder where is God in all this. Perhaps this one time, He might have forgotten about me? I soon realized that as christian I was contradicting myself. How could I believe that Jesus is my Savior, accept his Salvation and be so worried about my future when He specifically said that He would not leave me (Hebrews 13:5)? Why cannot I be confident that He is control of everything? The bible clearly says our steps are ordered by God (Psalms 37:23).
Then, God spoke to me via this simple verse "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:11" Let me break it down quickly for you. There are three important words here: Savior, Christ, and Lord. Jesus is the
Savior, the one who save us from sins and gives us eternal life.
Christ, the promised Messiah since Genesis.
And Lord, which implies that Jesus is our master and we must surrender. I soon realized that I accepted Jesus as my Savior, not as my Christ or my Lord. Salvation comes in one package. You can't have one and leave the others. Jesus is the
Christ whom God promised since the falling of men. Isaiah prophesied about him 700 years before He came. this tells me that God is trustworthy. His promises never fails and are everlasting. Jesus is also
Lord; therefore, He can chose to open doors and close doors. So right now, I am at peace. For the first time, I have decided to align my will with God's will.
I wish I could finish my story by telling you that God somehow got me into graduate school, or He suddenly restored my relationship or I got a free ticket again to go to Haiti. None of that good stuff is happening right now. However, I know that those who wait upon the Lord shall never grow weary. They renew their strength like eagles (Isaiah 40:30-31). I want to encourage you to take the entire salvation if you have not done so package which is accepting Jesus as SAVIOR, CHRIST and LORD.
May God bless you
